These days I read a lot of blogs about the organization and customization of living spaces – Apartment Therapy and Lifehacker especially. It’s interesting to see how drastic changes in the feel of a space can result from minor changes, and how relatively simple overhauls can result in spaces that are less cluttered, more functional and more environmentally responsible.

Now that I’m a homeowner I have been letting my imagination run wild. I am limited by budget and a lack of engineering skills, but no longer restricted by rental agreements and the preferences of co-inhabitants. Possible or not, it’s fun to think of what COULD be done to a little old house to make it more me. Here are some of my ideas:

Front Porch Periscope. Why be hassled in your own home by sales people and religious evangelists? It’s 2010 and if I’m seeking a new product, service, or god, I know where to look. I can save time and excuse-making by screening visitors through a series of lenses linked to observation ports on either floor of the house. Feasibility index: Low. Optics are not a specialty of mine. A closed-circuit TV might be more reasonable, but that makes me seem more like a paranoid conspiracy theorist than the captain of a Victorian submarine, and that’s boring.

Rainwater-Reclaiming Gutters.
Rather than send collected rainwater off to a mysterious underground void, I’d prefer to redirect it to hydrate a garden or lawn. Surely this would be simple enough with the right connectors and a working understanding of gravity. As soon as I have a garden or lawn starting to grow, I’ll figure this one out. Feasibility index: High. Lots of people actually do this despite the fact that it might literally qualify as a pipe dream.

Chutes! Chutes for Every Purpose!
My house was built in 1925, and as such has the old-timey convenience of a built-in laundry chute to the basement with access doors on both floors of the house. It’s hugely convenient, but what I really want are multiple depositories for recyclables, compost and loose change. Feasibility index: Moderate. If I’ve got one tube running through my house, surely I can have more. But I’m scared to make holes in the wall. It is an old house, after all.

Energy-Collecting Solar Array.
Self-explanatory, maybe, but I’d love to cut my power bill and reduce waste by harnessing the energy of the sun. Feasibility index: Nigh impossible. have you seen how much solar panels and batteries cost? Tens of thousands of dollars! Also, I live in Pittsburgh, where the sun is blocked by cloud cover 90% of the time.

So that’s a basic rundown. I should probably fix the leaky porch roof or repaint the garage door before I devote much more energy to these, though.

I suppose you can fill in the rest of the story for yourself. I liked the image so much that I thought it deserved some finishing touches, so I did some color work to his original line art. I actually enjoy this process a lot- it feels like I’m back in the days of coloring books and paint-by-number kits, but with the added bonus of collaboration with friends.

I’ve got a few more of these projects lined up with others, so look forward to more in the future! Don’t forget to check out the rest of Brad’s delightful work on his blog.

For whatever reason, I tend to prefer the original version of the character- a funny little con man who somehow managed enough brains to occasionally outwit Batman and Robin. The mob lord and freaky bird-man versions came later, and I never really liked them.

The appeal of the character, I thought, was simply that someone who was clearly outmatched by our heroes still managed to give them a hard time. And his umbrella was a flame thrower.

The decision to depict him as a Victorian-style silhouette was inspired by a Jonathan Goldstein story from this installment of This American Life. Listen to the whole program- it’s worth it!

I hate New Year’s.

The ever-growing popular disdain for the Christmas season still somewhat eludes me because I’ve always felt like there were millions of ways to celebrate. But one week later, if you’re not in a crowded pub or hall, clinking glasses and singing “Auld Lang Syne” at THE EXACT RIGHT MOMENT, then you’re doing it wrong. No thanks.

But among the more festive end-of-year trappings come hundreds of equally tiresome retrospective lists and unrealistic resolutions- shallow rituals that serve as poor stand-ins for a neatly inventoried past and well-planned futures. The problem is that this assumes life is a series of dominoes to knock down. As if there’s some master list of tasks- defined by society our our own private delusions- that will bring enlightenment or happiness or glory at the end of a wacky, winding to-do list. We all know life isn’t that simple, but we continue to torture ourselves, and that’s the real travesty of the holiday. That and the drunk driving.

Still, while it may technically be arbitrary, the passing of a year- let alone a decade- can’t really be ignored in modern society. The fact that I’m writing this at all probably proves that, so screw it, here’s my goal for 2010: no, large, sweeping, personal goals. My happiest moments in life so far were mostly accidental, and since I have to operate within schedules for the day-to-day minutiae of life, any kind of master plan seems wrong.

I also want to pay off my car.

Solomon Grundy was originally the title and subject of a 19th Century nursery rhyme, but in the world of DC Comics, Solomon Grundy is the name of of a giant, swamp-zombie gangster supervillain. He was originally devised as a nemesis for The Green Lantern, but over the course of several decades has been an enemy of Superman, Batman, and the Justice League.

Think about that for a moment and then try to imagine what kind of cult (occult?) following a guy like that would have among the populace. I bet it would be at least as big as that of the late pro wrestler André the Giant.

André the Giant, as you may know, was over seven feet tall and a legendary drunk- a seriously imposing figure if ever there was one. He was also immortalized in street-artist-turned-social-change-advocate Shepard Fairey’s ubiquitous logo for his OBEY design studio. Fairey’s work has been all over Pittsburgh recently in anticipation of an exhibit of his work, so it’s no coincidence that I tap into that inspiration (and draw the perhaps unfortunate parallels) now.

I don’t know much about the character beyond that. Wikipedia tells me that he was a late-1960’s invention of Spider-Man co-creator Steve Ditko. I don’t really think it’s any surprise that this didn’t hit as big.

Anyhow, I thought “late 60’s” and “creepy” and nothing combines those elements quite like the Yellow Submarine artwork of Heinz Edelmann. This is my pale imitation.

There have been many bat-foes to go by the name of Clayface, but they’ve all pretty much been amorphous blobs of goo. Sometimes the character originates as an actor or a scientist, but they always end up as horrifying, criminal mud-monsters.

That’s got to be a depressing existence, even if (especially if?) you own Elliot Smith’s From a Basement on the Hill on vinyl.

Most of Batman’s famous foes have been around for decades, and have had the benefit of being depicted my multiple artists in different eras. Bane is a relatively new addition, having first appeared in the mid-1990s.

My favorite Bat-artist, golden age master Dick Sprang, illustrated this version of Bane in 1995.

When I say successful, I really mean prolific, as he’s appeared in every Batman TV cartoon series since his introduction, and even in one of the (worse) movies. But I haven’t read actual modern comic books on a regular basis in over a decade, so I don’t know what they currently do with the character. As such he’s remained limited in scope as far as I’m concerned and it’s interesting for me to see artists put a different interpretive spin on the character.

Still, he’s constantly depicted as overly menacing despite the fact that in concept he’s just as silly as Two-Face, the Penguin, or any of the rest. So that’s why I decided to depict him as a cartoon tough, straight out of early Walt Disney or Max Fleischer Popeye cartoons. I also figure his steroid pump can’t function perfectly all the time, so his stringy, unpumped legs are struggling to support his over-muscled upper body.

A couple things kept nagging at me while I was working on this week’s Batman villain. The first is this old song by the Coasters, which I now can’t get out of my head. You’re welcome.

The second is the realization that Ivy might be one of the most harmfully sexist characters in comics. Superheroes and their antagonists tend to be themed, so they usually have powers related to their name, costume and gimmick. Even in the incredibly male-dominated world of comics, the conceit behind Poison Ivy stands out as particularly misogynistic. Why?

Ivy’s power is that she’s sexy, and she can use her sexy sexiness to destroy you. Her super power is her feminine wiles. Over the years they’ve attempted to crystallize the eco-terrorist aspects of a woman who believes in plant superiority, but let’s face it, it’s all in service of drawing a woman in a leafy bustier. Not that I’m against that, per se.

I also don’t think she’s very well thought-out, since as an activist she’s incredibly hypocritical. She apparently loves plants above all other life, but she’s not above genetically engineering horrible mutant hybrids in an attempt to stop the Gotham Urban Redevelopment Council from building a youth center or something. I bet she’s a vegetarian, too. If she really believed what she claims, she’d eat nothing but animals. Bacon, bacon and more bacon.

Your Toyota Prius won’t save your soul, Poison Ivy.

I ask you, what more can I do?